Anybody can be rejected. Social rejection can happen in any situation.
- Have you been hurt in your dealings with people?
- Have you been ignored by your family or loved ones?
- Has your business been frustrated by prospective clients?
Let me share a story…
In the early 90’s, in my country, a very wealthy man contested
for the presidential office.
He was charismatic. He was a philanthropist per excellence.
And as we say in this part of Africa; he was a man of the people, so to speak.
But somehow he didn’t make it to the seat of power.
There were a lot of protests across the land.
Many people felt that he was cheated out.
In fact he died in incarceration after the whole process.
Nearly everything about him and his fortune gradually went down.
Then, out of the blues, about 25 years after…something happened!
The latest government chose to bestow one of the highest national awards
on him – posthumously.
Just a few days after the recognition, a daughter of his said something
that got me thinking.
She told the media, “Now the phones have started ringing again!”
That hit me…
“Does that mean the former beneficiaries of his largesse had abandoned
that very influential family all these years?” I thought to myself.
So, depending on your circumstance, anybody can be rejected,
irrespective of your status.
So, what is social rejection?
It simply means your mutual interactions or dealings
are not of interest to other people or a third party.
You may be aware of it or not.
You can also be rejected by friends, peers, family members and loved ones.
Lets look at a few causes.
1. You Have Picked A Wrong Target
You have something to offer but it is not agreeable with your target.
What do I mean?
You are going after a wrong person you aspire to date or befriend.
You are going after a wrong client or who is not interested in your product.
You are sharing your belief and ideologies with a wrong group.
By so doing, your time, energy and resources are wasted.
Because in no time the interaction you are trying to nurture hits the rock.
It can really hurt.
On my own, in the past, I had personally had my own share of these mistakes.
But I am wiser now.
All these scenarios certainly are no fault of the other people.
2. You Feel You Are Not Good Enough
Your disposition portrays somebody who lacks self-esteem.
You look down on yourself in your relationships with others.
They are real and imagined.
Your self-imposed limitations
might be the cause of your non-acceptance by others.
It might be due to your childhood upbringing.
It might be due to a loss you have suffered in the past.
Therefore, you can’t deal with it. You feel helpless.
You would rather settle for the crumbs — even from your mates
till the rest of your life, sadly.
These are the nagging thoughts you struggle with.
3. You Choose To Ignore Other People
There are instances, where you just choose to ignore others.
It is either you are protecting yourself or something…
Or you are suspicious of an impending doom if you continue
with such a relationship.
Nobody should blame you.
Some people even act this way, as a payback time;
to revenge an earlier isolation by others.
This is not healthy though.
- By the way, the rich and the wealthy tend to be wary
of other less fortunate people.
So, on purpose most of them only reach out if they find
something they can benefit from others.
They come to you on their own terms.
It happens in business and romantic affairs too.
Not surprisingly, on the flip side, some lowly people
even do reject the wealthy also.
Some people would not date some persons because of certain values;
no matter the popular attributes, friends parrot about those individuals.
4. You Struggle To Belong
Some people want to join some peer groups, or belong to some associations.
They crave that social acceptance for reasons best known to them.
Your low self-esteem or over-confidence could be the reason.
Maybe you want to do this as a social booster or for economic opportunities.
Your unfounded curiosity could also be a reason.
But this people don’t want you for reasons best known to them.
You equally haven’t done your due diligence.
Do you have the clout they are interested in?
I am not saying you can’t seek friendship, as nobody can be an island.
The question is, even if you are tolerated:
- can you really be at home on the long run?
- can you be real or true to yourself?
It is your choice though.
If after all these efforts, the group sees you as a sore thumb,
you will ultimately be given the cold shoulder and sent out.
Your time, energy and other resources wasted!
5. You Are Benevolently Blessed
Within your circle or situations you have found yourself,
you may be one of the few, so blessed; for many reasons under the sun.
But you are not conscious of your luck.
You lack tact and diplomacy in dealing with poisonous people.
Envy creeps in.
This makes them keep away from you.
They envy you because of your superior knowledge,
or success in many aspects of your life, that are going on well.
It is your innocence and naivety that are flogging you.
You are good, no doubt but not circumspect.
In your family setting, you could be a forthright person.
But nobody likes it.
Your wise words, truth and empathy do not make any sense
or found worthy in their eyes.
These reactions are subtle before it suddenly hits you, someday,
because you are trusty.
Behind you, you are like a plaque that must be avoided.
Not because it is your fault but for all these blessings,
the Divine has bestowed you with.
- Not everybody would like you, even if they are your kith and kin!
Some prophets of old that brought good tidings were even killed
and they are still being meted same treatment today.
Just like you don’t feel comfortable too in the presence of some people;
whether you are a good person or a bad person others may not want to associate with you.
6. Your Worrisome Character
Your personality trait may not fit within your inner circle.
You may not be aware of it.
You are abhorred by others. So, people keep away from you because
they don’t want to be inconvenienced by you.
Family members keep secrets away from you.
Friends and colleagues at work don’t like to be in your company either.
You force your opinion on people, rubbing it down on people’s face.
Therefore if you are in a position of power, you will only be tolerated
and feared but not necessarily loved.
Associating with you closely they find unpalatable.
So, at your back, they gossip and spit out your ideas and person.
7. Your Unfortunate Circumstance In Life
Life might have dealt you a wrong card.
You can’t boast of what your peers have.
Despite your hard work and perseverance; yet you can’t find your feet.
You have nothing to show for yourself and others.
Behind you, they make mockery of you.
Yes, success has many fathers…
And since you aren’t yet victorious in the scheme of life,
you could be treated like a leper; for no fault of yours.
You have become an orphan. You have been abandoned.
You strive still, to meet up with the minimum your inner circle or
society expects of you. Yet you may not escape social rejection.
This can be terrifying and frustrating, if you don’t get
out of the woods fast enough.
But life has shown that we don’t have all the answers
to many of these questions.
Therefore, you are most likely to be excluded from some groups;
even away from your family.
It can be disheartening because I, personally carried this weight for many years.
- Don’t be discouraged, as I will touch on how rejection can affect
you and how to deal with it, in my future articles.
Have you been ignored or rejected in the past or presently.
Comment below to share your experience.